Mastering the principles of persuasion is essential. The art of persuasion can be perceived as a very serious endeavor reserved fo...
Mastering the principles of persuasion is essential. The art of persuasion can be perceived as a very serious endeavor reserved for serious business transaction. But do not overlook your daily life and those around you, as you are often trying to persuade them. When you ask your husband to wash the car, your kids to dump the trash, and your colleagues to share with you data, these are also examples of persuasion.
As we observe, develop, and hone the skills and techniques of persuasion, we must be mindful, that we don’t become too easily persuaded ourselves. We must be vigilant that we do not allow our emotions to trap us into decisions that are not our own volition, when others deploy pre-suasive and persuasive skills.
First, a compliance tool may require more than one persuasive technique. In my “Pre-suasive” book, I introduced the concept of priming influence by creating environmental cues. Our framework of thinking can be pre-suaded by actions such as making a request on a day with nice weather, placing difficult items in a prominent location in a store, or by driving a prestigious car to a negotiation. Being aware of your environment and its clues, reminding yourself of their existence and the intentions behind it, will help us recalibrate our decision making.
首先，顺从工具常常不是只引用一个原理那么简单。在我的「先发影响力」一书里，我提到了 环境中的影响力线索 。阳光灿烂的天气，不想要的东西放在货架最显眼的位置，想跟你进行一笔交易的人可能开着一辆好车，等等，都会先发地调节我们思考的框架。 察觉环境中这些线索，提醒自己它们的存在并理解其后的意图，能够帮助我们把思考和行动调整到最有利于我们的起点。
Be aware of your emotional signs. When others attempt to manipulate us using the compliance tools, we will feel awkward emotionally, and our body’s harmony will be disturbed. For instance, we will blush, feel our hearts race, and our stomachs churn, etc.. Or, when we feel something is too good to be true, or just not right, we must be attentive to the signal, pause, and ask ourselves: “Is the information I learned accurate? Do I have sufficient information to make a good decision? If I do, is the choice I feel directed towards actually in my best interest?”
Finally, we have to understand the infrastructure of the persuasive/pre-suasive principles. Every principle has a context. Take the Reciprocation rule for instance, when we are in a friendly interaction, we reciprocate good will with good will. However, if the other party switch the context to their advantage, we no longer need to reciprocate. For instance, you have been invited to a birthday party, and reciprocate with a gift. However, when you arrive at the party, you discover it is a pop-up shop. You can reject such an unpermitted switch of context and stay true to the reciprocation rule: if you give me a favor, I return a favor, but if you try to take advantage of me, I may take advantage of you. In my “Influence” book, I mentioned that, when you realize that the other party has changed the context to make you comply, you can be free of his influence and psychologically switch your frame of mind.
Of course, influence tools come in many forms, fall in and out of fashion, and continuously develop. Yet our time is limited and we are constantly subject to the compliance tactics of others. But by understanding the principles and theories of persuasion, sharpening our awareness, and pausing to think when we encounter situations, we can effectively interpret and respond to other people’s abuse or overuse of the influence tools.
This is the link to my Zhihu Live, in which I will talk more about the Pre-suasion.
这是我即将在 9 月 28 日举行的知乎 Live , 我将与大家聊聊先发影响力。
Also, I will publish a Zhihu e-book about my studies in Pre-suasion . I hope you will find it a useful book.